Alternatives To Punishment: This Is What They Are
Making decisions about raising children is never an easy task. Everything that parents do and how they educate their children will affect the future life of the little ones. Punishment and alternatives to punishment do not make sense.
We are very sure that in trying to deal with any critical situation with your child, you will never lose sight of your main goal. That is, to educate him to be a respectable and responsible adult future.
However, when he happens to do some pranks or do things he shouldn’t, one of the first solutions that cross our parents’ minds is to punish him.
Some believe that the best way to act in the face of wrong behavior is to put the child in punishment, as was done in the past. However, there are alternatives to punishment . And in addition to being much healthier, they also have the same effect: teaching him to behave the right way.
What are the best alternatives to punishment
Prevention is better than cure
If you already know that your child in the supermarket is uncontrollable, you may want to leave them with their grandparents when you go to the weekly grocery shopping. If, on the other hand, you have no alternative but to take him with you, it is important that you do not express thoughts to him such as: “My son, I already know how you behave every time we come here”.
It is better not to mention the matter either. Maybe he won’t behave as you expect. You must think that when you utter phrases like the previous one, you are pigeonholing your child.
And it’s not a healthy thing, because every child makes progress with the passage of time. Wait to see his behavior and only then take action
Read a story
A great way to help your child with alternatives to retribution is to find a story in which the characters have similar behavior to what you want to change. You can read these stories to your child and give them time and a way to analyze the consequences.
Ask your child for help
The child’s tantrums and bad behavior arise in large part from his need to get the attention of his parents. When you ask him for help with anything, he will feel important.
And it will be this very feeling that will become predominant and make him your ally rather than an individual who is struggling to get your attention.
Instead of telling him, “Get out of that chair, you’ll see what happens after I leave the bags in the car”, you can tell him, “Honey, can you help me carry the shopping bags into the car? Take this, please ”.
Share the problem and find the solution together
This works very well with 10-12 year old children who, despite the punishments and conversations, do not improve their behavior.
If your child leaves all the clothes scattered on the floor in their bedroom, instead of repeating that it doesn’t help, ask them what idea they can think of to help resolve this situation.
Remember that you may disagree with his proposal, but you must at least listen to him and respect his feelings. This way you will be able to get him to take some responsibility and find a way to solve the problems.
Instead of a “no” explain and offer alternatives
If the child asks you something and you disagree, instead of a resounding “no” offer alternatives that are acceptable to both of you.
Let’s imagine your child wants to draw on the sofa or kitchen wall. An alternative could be to explain to him that the furniture would be damaged and that you like it as it is.
Think of feasible options, such as leaving a wall of the bedroom free for him to paint as he likes. This means that instead of changing your child, you need to try to put yourself in their perspective.
Educating does not mean mistreating
Talking positively about discipline isn’t always as simple as it sounds. We can understand basic concepts such as not hitting, not mistreating, not humiliating, not shouting… But we don’t always know how to apply them to real life effectively.
To educate with respect requires a lot of internal communication and a constant questioning of ourselves. Only then will you know that you are on the right path as a parent. Apply these alternatives to punishment and adapt them to your family life.
Remember that every child and every situation is unique. Because of this, these tools will sometimes work and sometimes not.
