Growing Up As An Only Child: Advantages And Disadvantages
More and more families are limiting their offspring to a single child. Whether for medical reasons or personal decisions, this family model is increasingly widespread. In this article, we will debunk the myths surrounding this topic and shed some light on what it really means to grow up as an only child.
Growing up as an only child
Nowadays, we are faced with a very different social scenario from the one that existed in the past, in the family environment. The birth rate is getting lower and the fertility index (in other words, the average number of children per woman) indicates a value of 1.3.
All this signals a growing trend in our society; that of a phenomenon that in the past would have been perceived as a special circumstance: families with an only child . There are many beliefs associated with children (and adults) growing up without having a sibling, but… what is true about these stereotypes.
Advantages of growing up as an only child
Only children get more attention from their parents. The latter, in fact, develop their efforts with an exclusive dedication, since they do not have to divide their time or their affection among several children. As a result, these children feel supported and cared for, and develop good self-esteem.
Parents with only one child have more financial resources to offer, which allows the child to have a greater variety of experiences in different areas of life.
These children grow up in a world of adults and in constant contact with them. It is precisely the adults who constitute their main point of reference to imitate, as well as their primary source of interaction. This circumstance involves a greater development of creativity, imagination and mental flexibility. For the same reason, only children generally have a faster intellectual (linguistic and cognitive) development.
Having no siblings, they have to spend a lot of time alone, because adults are adults and can’t always play with them. Because of this, they know how to adapt to loneliness and are able to develop pastimes and take advantage of the situation as a way to get to know themselves and become more independent. In addition, they are calmer, more introverted and mature children.
Only children have no one to “blame” or share it with. As a result, they learn from an early age to accept their responsibilities. All this makes them more efficient people in life and work.
Drawbacks of Growing Up as an Only Child
The negative consequence of more parental attention is the risk of over-attention. When this happens, the child can turn into a tyrant. Furthermore, if this excessive attention leads to overprotection, it can bring out a shy and fearful personality in the child, more cautious than normal.
Not having a familiar environment with which to compete, play and share with your peers is an obstacle to the development of some skills. In this way, only children generally have greater difficulties in negotiating their needs with others and confrontation is a big problem, because they do not know how to deal with it.
In addition, they can have problems being generous, both materially and emotionally, and have a tendency to think that everyone should take care of themselves. All this, added to this individuality, can appear as a form of self-centeredness.
Often these children are treated as adults, due to the greater maturity they present, which can hinder their spontaneity and turn them into overly rigid people.
Sometimes they can feel alone, not being able to enjoy the domestic complicity offered by the presence of children of their age. All of this can lead to the development of a shy and reserved personality.
What can be done to avoid the drawbacks?
- It is absolutely necessary to draw loving boundaries and make sure that the child learns to respect the time of others and tolerate “no” for an answer.
- Instead of being overprotective, we need to offer the child the opportunity to learn to fend for himself in the world.
- To avoid self-centeredness we must teach him to share, respect shifts and understand that, unlike what happens at home, the attention and praise from adults will not always be directed towards his person. It will be necessary to subject him to opportunities for socializing with other children, especially with the figure, of inestimable value, of his cousins.
- Even though he may seem mature, we must not forget that he continues to be a child and that it is important to leave room for his spontaneity.
- To mitigate the subjective feeling of loneliness, it is important to always offer support and understanding, starting with those closest to him.
