How And Why To Involve Dad In Childcare
There are many mothers who complain that the father is not involved in the care of the children. However, only a few women realize that many men are left out when their baby arrives. Or, at least, that’s how they feel. Without realizing it, we women take on all the responsibility for caring for the baby and take the decisions concerning the education of children unilaterally. Instead, involving the dad is crucial for the whole family.
This exclusion means that many men give up childcare and show no interest in taking a position that goes beyond “what they are charged with” or what, by culture or education, they have respected throughout their lives.
Numerous studies show that the father plays an important role in the development of the child. Therefore, it is necessary to involve the father in his education. Not simply as a help to the mother, but because her involvement, as well as representing a shared responsibility, is of fundamental importance for the child’s upbringing and growth.
How to involve the father in the care of the children
Here are some helpful ideas on how to involve the father in childcare. In addition to perceiving the responsibility of raising children, the father can feel important and valued.
Feeding the baby
A baby who feeds at the mother’s breast must obviously be fed by herself. However, when the baby takes a bottle or starts to eat solid foods, he can also be fed by his father.
The importance of feeding the child is based on the bond that is created in this way . The baby will learn to trust the person who feeds him, because this individual satisfies one of his basic needs. It is also an ideal time to hug your child, make skin-to-skin contact, look at each other, and say loving words.
On the other hand, the father, in addition to feeding his son, must learn to prepare a bottle, baby food or solid meal for him, without depending on anyone else. Only in this way will he begin to feel safe and fully responsible.
Bathe your baby and dress him up
The father must participate from the beginning in the basic care of the child, such as changing his diaper, bathing him or dressing him. The mother must allow the father to take a stand on this and to carry out these activities alone, without any supervision.
The problem with many men is not that they are unable to perform these tasks, but that the women in the family make them feel useless because they constantly correct them. On the other hand, no one is born a teacher or gifted with the “childcare” gene. Both father and mother are perfectly capable of learning. Being a man or a woman does not mean knowing how to do these things better or worse.
When the father participates in the baby’s daily routine, it helps to strengthen their bond. In addition, it develops its interest in other issues that will arise later, such as decisions regarding learning and compliance with the rules established in the home about the education of children.
Spending time alone with the children
A father must spend time alone with his children, without limiting himself, however, to moments of play. Studying, going out to do things together, walking or taking a trip, reading with them or talking about their issues are just a few examples of how to spend time together and without mom.
In this way the father will feel more confident of himself, he will be able to show his most intimate side and share with his children things reserved for them: their secrets. So the father will know the children better and the children will know the father better. This bond will foster interest, respect and responsibility.
The importance of involving the father for the development of the children
The father plays an important role in the development of the child, from birth to adulthood. Indeed, numerous studies have come to the same conclusion: children who have a participating father enjoy both a social and educational advantage over those who have maintained a distant relationship with their father, or who have not had one at all.
A University of Maryland survey found higher language skills and minor behavior problems in children whose father is actively involved in their upbringing. Curiously, this result has also been verified in cases where the father does not live in the same house as the child.
A study conducted by the University of Illinois found that children whose fathers take the time to ask questions about what they learned in school and their daily social activities and relationships perform better than those who do not have this type of education. relationship with the father.
From these investigations it emerges that it does not matter whether or not it is the biological father. This can happen with any adult male (a grandfather, an uncle, a stepfather).
