How To Avoid Jealousy When A Little Brother Arrives

Never feeling jealous might seem like an almost impossible feat. After all, who has never tried it, at least once? Hence the idea that brothers are not always able to share everything. For parents, helping their children avoid jealousy when a little brother arrives can be a real challenge.

From the moment a sibling joins the family, jealousy can be the natural reaction to the threat of losing their parents’ affection. However, even when they are competing to win their parents’ love, little ones can learn a lot. How can we guide them through this learning process so that they can avoid jealousy when a little brother arrives?

What can you do while expecting another child?

The arrival of a new child brings many changes within the family. It is possible that your eldest children will create wrong expectations while waiting for the baby. Consequently, preparing them as soon as possible can help them  avoid jealousy when a little brother arrives .

The first thing to do is to let them know that you are pregnant before they can find out from other people. Also,  you need to explain to them in advance that babies need a lot of care  because they are unable to fend for themselves. For this purpose, you can use photographs or videos from when they were little, so that they can understand it more easily.

On the other hand, make sure that they integrate well into the preparations for the baby’s arrival. To do this, you can show them ultrasound scans or allow them to put their hand on your belly and talk to the unborn baby.

Symptoms of jealousy in the face of the arrival of a little brother

While not all children exhibit jealousy in the same way, some symptoms may be as follows:

• Anger, anguish, insecurity, sadness.  These feelings can manifest themselves through headaches, insomnia or nausea.
• Complete rejection  of the little brother.
• They may go into a phase of regression  and try to imitate their younger sibling. In these cases, they regress to those behaviors they had abandoned, such as, for example, finger sucking.
• They try to attract attention at any cost,  often spitting on their little brother.

• They can manifest aggressive behavior, leading to verbal or even physical confrontation.

How to avoid jealousy when a little brother arrives

Of course,  there is no magic formula to avoid jealousy when a little brother arrives. However, thanks to the right tools, you can help the little ones to channel this feeling properly. In the following lines we offer you some practical advice:

Make time for them

Strive to be alone with them, giving them quality time. This factor is very important to prevent them from feeling replaced due to the arrival of the new baby.

Allow them to collaborate

Get them to take part in the care of their new baby brother. Depending on the age,  you can assign tasks to the eldest child. Doing so will make him feel like he is an important part of the family. Of course, if he prefers to avoid doing them, it is better not to oblige him.

Teach them to understand

Instill in them the importance of understanding. They need to learn to understand the feelings of others. In this regard, show them the advantages of being the older or younger brother.

Treat them the same way

Try to treat each child equally. Although affection must be divided equally, in many cases you will have to reserve some special treatment. In such circumstances, treatment will depend on each person’s age and personality.

Ask for the cooperation of other adults

Remind your friends and family not to neglect the eldest child. Otherwise, your efforts and dedication could be thwarted or even undone by another person close to the child.

Teach to share

Help them develop their individuality and respect each other. As they grow up, children need to be able to share space with their siblings.

6 things you shouldn’t do when handling the situation

If you want to avoid jealousy when a sibling arrives and thus promote family relationships,  consider the following tips:

Don’t change your routines

Do not change the routines that your children followed before the birth of the new baby. Too many changes at the same time can be difficult to assimilate. Make sure that, as far as possible, the new birth does not coincide with a move or a change of school.

Don’t think they don’t love him

Avoid thinking that jealousy is an indication that your children don’t love their little brother. In most cases, with time and maturation, the little ones come to love each other with an unshakable affection.

Avoid making comparisons

Don’t compare your children. Some of your comments may seem like simple comments to you, but the way you say them can have a major impact on your children.

Pay attention to your comments

Avoid phrases that scold or, even worse, misunderstand their actions. For example, ordering “Get away from baby” or “Don’t touch him” could cause the older sibling to reject the younger.

Correct it if necessary

Correct their bad behavior, not just tolerate it. Some children may try to get attention by mistreating, teasing, or threatening their younger siblings. Even if you have to blame their feelings, you don’t have to praise them when they misbehave.

Ultimately,  avoiding jealousy when a little brother arrives is practically impossible. Nonetheless, with patience and affection, you will be able to help them manage these feelings. In this way, your little ones will learn to live together, to accept their responsibilities and to respect others.