Learning To Say No To Your Children
Authoritarian educational methods were very popular in the past. They predicted that discipline was accompanied by fear of the authority figure in the family, and that affection and communication were never protagonists. In reality, an authoritative upbringing can be firm, affectionate, and full of love. Saying no to children does not have to be accompanied by fear or severity.
An authoritative parent will listen to their children, set boundaries, and be consistent with the people who have a role in their upbringing. Authoritative parents will know how to say no at the right time and only if necessary.
Furthermore, this type of parenting will be able to admit that they were wrong when it is necessary to find the best solutions. This way children will be offered a good role model that predicts that they can also make mistakes to learn from.
A permissive parent who cannot say no to his children is affectionate and loving but does not offer them the essential elements to have a healthy childhood, made up of limits and routines, necessary to shape their personality.
Why is it so difficult to tell our children about us nowadays?
No we know with absolute certainty why it is so difficult for parents to say no these days. Each family is a world of its own with its own characteristics.
Access to information and different types of education, however, can help make parents realize that discipline can be taught without the need for fear and without continually saying no.
But the “no” must be present in the education of children. The latter must be characterized by a flexible discipline in which parents learn to set limits in an appropriate way.
On many occasions, parents have to set limits. For example, to the purchase of games or to the requests of the child, considering that the advertisements are quite insistent and children want everything they see, creating, on many occasions, conflicts within the four walls.
How to learn to say no to children?
It’s not always easy to say no to a child, especially when they manage to hold mom and dad hostage using a variety of emotional techniques to get what they want. It is necessary to know how to master the art of negotiation and, whatever its intention, to determine if the game is worth the candle.
Don’t get used to putting your child’s wishes before yours. Most of the time, it’s a matter of prioritizing.
Children will always want to demand the maximum and test the waters to understand how far they can go. That’s why you need to be consistent and learn to set clear boundaries.
Involve the children in the decision
One idea is to involve the children in the decision before accepting and looking all together for the best option that “makes everyone happy”, ie the one in which the will of the parents is respected on the one hand and the child accepts the measures taken on the other. because he is convinced of it.
For example, if the child does not want to go to bed to sleep, he can still be left for ten minutes to watch his favorite show, provided he goes to bed afterwards. If after that, he still doesn’t want to go to bed, there will be negative consequences. The next day, perhaps, he will have to go to sleep ten minutes earlier.
It is very important to understand that you don’t have to say yes just to avoid a fight. Because, even if it seems the easiest way, in the long run it can cause serious behavior problems in children.
If you say yes to everything, your children will think they have the right to demand whatever they want and that they can get angry if their wishes are not granted. Saying no at the right time is undoubtedly the best option for setting boundaries.
Telling our children about us will help them cultivate right values and learn great life lessons. And also to develop new skills to get by in society, since life gives nothing and things have to be sweated.
Don’t feel guilty about saying no. As adults, children will discover the value of things in your denials.
