Never Leave Without Saying Goodbye

We mothers often avoid situations that can irritate our children, because we do not want to see them cry, throw tantrums and ask us to take them with us to the place where we are heading. This is a difficult task, but we must never leave without saying goodbye.

Surely, in your role as mom, you will have happened to do several stunts: walk on toes, create diversions and then disappear without saying goodbye, like real fugitives, to prevent your child from getting irritated or having to take him with you.

However, playing the role of secret agents and trying to complete certain “missions” just to go to work, shopping or other errands, as well as being tiring, can turn into a vicious circle from which we have to get out for well-being of all our family context.

Don’t fool him and say hello to him every time you leave

Once your child finds out that you are gone, he will feel cheated, helpless and dejected, even if it is quite the opposite of what you wanted to achieve.  “Quiet outings” can be tough and complicated, and with them you get nothing but worry and reinforcement of any child’s inappropriate behavior.

Saying goodbye in a natural way, alluding to the return that will take place shortly, will be the healthiest way to do it and will make it less traumatic for your child and for your family context.

As time passes, you will only pass a negative message to your child by “disappearing” without saying goodbye ; for this reason, communicating through proper techniques that you are leaving will be beneficial for both of you, although the child may not understand your first attempts.

Inculcating in the child the habit of greeting, as well as promoting his education, will allow you to progressively reduce irritable behavior.

Explaining to your children that you will be leaving, for one reason or another, must be part of your daily communication as mothers, until they themselves consider it a completely natural event and you can get rid of all the tricks put. in place in the past.

Send them a positive message

Often we mothers are used to underline, both with gestures and with words, how much it costs us to leave our baby, but avoiding transmitting this negative message to him will make the child feel more comfortable and safe and we will make him easier things in the daily process.

Highlighting the fact that he will be safe, repeating that someone will keep him company in our absence, reminding him that we will be back soon, are the key elements to make him feel calm even without us.

Lying is never the solution, also considering the fact that children are used to imitating the conduct of those closest to them and, in this case, you would propose an anti-value for their personal development. Leave him a positive message, an object or a toy he is fond of; this way it will have a healthy distraction when you’re not there. 

Reinforce the positive message

While it may seem obvious, cheerfully emphasize the fact that you have returned, ask him how he behaved, what he did during the day and talk to him about what you did, or show him what you bought; in this way you will avoid any negative behavior and will strengthen your confidence and confidence in both of you.

Rewarding his positive behavior from time to time will help him counteract any tendencies to behave negatively.

Recognize their feelings

Explain to him that it is normal to feel fear, uneasiness and affection, so as to help him feel understood; let him know that that little separation will be useful for both of you to do different things but that you will always come back to him to offer him your love and understanding.

Underestimating her feelings or being seen emotionally involved only adds to her suffering: remember that as adults we have the power to stay in control of the situation and it is our duty as mothers to help our children whenever they need ours. support.

Tips that will make this moment less traumatic

Below you will find some tips to learn not to leave without saying goodbye and to turn this moment into something natural:

• Maintain serenity
• Be as concise as possible
• Show affection
• Remind him that you will return
• Tell him who the people who will stay to keep him company are
• Suggest activities to do in your absence, such as drawing or creating something for you, arranging toys, etc.
• Remind him of the benefits he can derive from behaving well
• Reward positive behaviors
• Listen to what worries him
• Answer or clarify your doubts