Raising Emotionally Healthy Children
Raising emotionally healthy and happy children is any parent’s dream. And while there are many ways to do this, we will show you one that we consider important:
Give your child the opportunity to learn to control his emotions, reason and learn for himself.
We explain our thesis to you.
If you usually give him orders and take him back when he doesn’t respect your wishes, he will surely behave like a real lamb. And in the presence and in front of the master’s voice, he will lower his head and follow the path indicated, without asking why.
But if your method is smarter (we hope it is) and you prefer your child to understand, reason about what you say, and then behave like the child you hope for, chances are you are raising a strong and happy person right now.
To raise emotionally healthy children, you must confront them with the consequences of their actions. And what happens if they don’t listen to their parents.
They must be given the freedom to raise emotionally healthy children. In this way, through assimilation, observation and experimentation of the world, they can have their own experiences and learn to control their emotions.
“Nobody learns from another’s head”, remember this proverb. Nevertheless, it is clear that not in all cases the child can be given the autonomy to do it on his own.
However, as long as the experiences do not jeopardize his physical, mental and emotional integrity, we parents must give independence to our children.
An example of life
The other day, one of the readers of our magazine, who has a 2 year old daughter, shared her experience with us. Mothers with children of that age, or who have passed through this phase, will know that, at 2, it is quite difficult for a minor to reason or do what they are told.
However, the reader to whom we refer has succeeded.
His story begins like many others of this type:
“I want something, and if I don’t get it, I cry until they give it to me.”
Babies, soon after birth, learn that when they cry, their parents come to pick them up, feed them, change their nappies and satisfy their many needs.
However, as they grow up, they understand that even crying serves to be satisfied to the point of transforming the adults of the family into their subjects.
Anly’s mom realized that her daughter didn’t know No. So she decided it was time to stop being a victim of her whims and teach her what it meant.
But the little girl, like other minors their age, was smart enough and had a new card hidden up her sleeve.
As soon as her mother denied her the whim, she burst into tears and coughing insistently.
“The cough was such that he seemed on the verge of choking or fainting at any moment.”
So the mother commented on us.
Mom kissed her, hugged her, consoled her with the sweetest words. Then he explained to her why he couldn’t get what he wanted and why he didn’t have to cough so much…, but Anly continued without wanting to listen and the cough was more and more intense.
For fear that something would happen to her, her mother eventually indulged her baby and, as soon as this happened, the crying and coughing stopped instantly.
One fine day, Anly’s mom decided to hold back and give her daughter the opportunity to learn for herself and experience how bad she could feel if she kept coughing.
That day, the little girl coughed and coughed until she was red, and the excess caused her to bend over several times as if she wanted to vomit.
Anly hated throwing up and realized that if she kept coughing like that, she would have an experience that she didn’t like at all. At which, by herself, and as if by magic, she stopped coughing and calmed the crying.
Obviously, he received other incentives to put an end to the situation. Her mom told her several times that she would throw up if she continued this way, and reminded her how bad she had felt other times.
Also, he gave her a puppet that she really liked, put her favorite cartoons on her…, but she didn’t go along with the whim that had originated the scene.
This happened in a similar way a few more times, until the little girl learned her lesson. So, she stopped coughing insistently for others to please her in what she wanted.
How to raise emotionally healthy children
Anly’s story may not be the same as your children’s story. But we emphasize that a way must be found for them to learn to interpret the situations they live in and to dominate both their feelings and their way of behaving. This won’t happen overnight, it takes time and consistency, but it can be done.
It is important that, as a child, they begin to realize what is or is not correct; that they control their impulses and emotions.
But this you will not be able to raise emotionally healthy children by imposing your method. They have to convince themselves of it.
