The Ideal Condition For Having A Child Is Not To Be Engaged, But To Be Happy

The ideal condition for having a baby is not to be engaged.  It is happiness. The most solid and unconditional pillar to enjoy adequate inner well-being, to be happy people who care and love themselves and who in turn are worthy of giving the best to their children.

Happiness is achieved by yourself

In our society, and in that still classical, traditional and often even patriarchal component, the idea is maintained that every child who comes to light must have a father and a mother of reference.

We all understand that  there are few things more satisfying than conceiving a child with a loved one.

However, if there is no harmony in the couple, none of this makes sense. Because few things can be more devastating than a father or mother with dysfunctional, erratic behavior or with clear emotional and psychological immaturity.

Having children is in some cases extremely easy, but  the complicated thing is being able to make the child become a person with good self-esteem, confident, dignified and strong, capable of being happy and giving happiness.

Therefore there is no better reference than a parent who is happy and capable of giving this new life its same values. Those values ​​that have allowed him or her to be a strong and satisfied person who will guide their child in the best way.  With or without the other half of the couple.

We offer you a reflection on the subject.

Do happy parents match happy children?

Do happy parents match happy children? This sentence has some aspects that deserve to be clarified. Something we all know is that  happiness is not a state, it is a dimension that comes and goes, that catches us at certain moments and that later leaves us to test ourselves in the face of adversity.

More than happy mothers and fathers,  what it needs are people with adequate psychological and emotional resilience. Let’s see it more specifically.

Our human quality

Human quality is not written on paper nor is it given by default, installed as a program on our computer’s hard drive. The quality of a person is forged over time through very concrete aspects:

• The sense of respect, reciprocity, empathy and consideration.
• The adequate development of a strong identity and good self-esteem, which in turn allow us to respect the identities of others.

• In turn, human quality has another purpose: to favor the good, to do the best for others through a humble attitude, strong but always characterized by a dedication to the people around us.

Our personal story and how we dealt with it

A person is not the result of his past, it is the result of the way he dealt with it. A father or a mother are much more than what we see with our eyes. In them are hidden thousands of challenges overcome with firmness, some personal battles, some fear and infinite battles won.

All this is “added value”, it is that energy that teaches us that you  don’t need much to be happy: just having the people we love most by our side.

With or without a partner: the most important thing is to love ourselves in order to love our children

Whoever is unable to love himself projects his needs onto others. All of these shortcomings tend to bring with them serious side effects when it comes to maternity or paternity.

• Parents who dislike themselves can become control freaks, thus raising children in a toxic way.
• The unloving father or mother may develop an unhealthy and neurotic attachment to his partner and children. In addition to control, he can become suspicious and remain a slave to great emotional ups and downs that always cause serious consequences in the psychological development of his children.

Love yourself to love better

Loving yourself is not an act of selfishness. This is something that we must have very clear right away. We have the full right to have what we deserve, to fight for what we want and to preserve our personal dignity. All this will make us courageous people, fathers and mothers who in turn are worthy of having children. Because in this way we will always give them the best of ourselves.

Whether with or without a partner, the essential thing is that we take care of ourselves as people. That we work on our emotional shortcomings, our insecurities and our fears every day. Thus, our children will always see us as the reference person to imitate, to lean on, take refuge and learn from day after day.