The Syndrome Of The Ousted Prince
What do we mean by the ousted prince syndrome ? When children are the center of attention and do not have to share or have feelings of rivalry to win the love of their parents, they enjoy great happiness within the family.
But what happens when a little brother or sister arrives? The child who previously enjoyed his parents’ love in solitude may come to feel threatened. He may think his parents won’t love him as much as they used to. Here appears the syndrome of the ousted prince .
Jealousy is the basis of the ousted prince syndrome
Normally when this syndrome appears, jealousy is at the root. The older brother may begin to feel jealous of the newcomer. He has the feeling that the family is no longer what it used to be. He feels displaced and begins to feel a great rivalry towards the newborn. When a new baby arrives, it is normal that certain family habits have to be changed in order for everything to work well. However, this can cause the older brother to realize that he no longer has the full attention of his parents.
On many occasions, jealousy between siblings cannot be avoided. What can and must be done, however, is to help the little ones to manage jealousy, to understand their emotions and to overcome these constant states of negativity. If a child with the ousted prince syndrome is not helped to overcome this jealousy, it could become a chronic state. It could also turn into major issues of self-esteem, personality, behavior and could affect not only your current life, but also your future one.
Warning signs of the ousted prince syndrome
There are signs that you can tell if your eldest child is going through this emotional crisis. We remember that it is an emotional state that must be overcome so that the family unit does not suffer repercussions and above all so that there are strong emotional bonds between parents, children, and siblings. Some of the signs that the older brother may exhibit are:
- Present developmental regressions : go back to sucking your finger, peeing on yourself, talking like a baby, behaving like one, etc.
- Try to draw the attention of adults in a negative way. He doesn’t care if he’s doing the wrong thing. He just wants adults to pay him more attention, whatever the cost.
- Manifesting psychosomatic symptoms: stomach pain, headache, intestinal discomfort, etc.
- Displaying behavior problems both at home and at school.
- Ignore the little brother and act like he doesn’t exist. If he draws the family, he omits it and makes excuses such as that he is not yet born or that he is sleeping elsewhere.
How to deal with the ousted prince syndrome
As in all things, it is always better to be safe than sorry. Thus, to prevent this syndrome from occurring, it is necessary to act before the new family member arrives. Here are some ways:
- Involve the older sibling in decisions he can participate in (such as decorating the baby’s room).
- Talk to him about the importance of being the big brother and tell him how proud you are of him.
- Do not show preferences between him and the baby that is about to arrive.
- Don’t make comparisons between brothers.
- When your little brother or sister is born, you will need to pay more attention to the older brother so that he doesn’t feel overthrown at any time. We are talking about quality time filled with love.
- Allowing him to freely express his feelings and emotions about the newcomer.
- Always keep an open communication channel where respect, affection and positivity are not lacking.
- If the child is jealous, it is best not to get angry and talk about his emotions.
- Create moments of interaction between siblings such as bath time, nap and other circumstances, always under the supervision of an adult.
